Once upon a time a father made a beautiful play room for his children. It was filled with toys, candy, video games, and a petting zoo. The children were allowed to do whatever they pleased, they didn’t even have to do chores.
However There was one rule, in the middle of the room the father left an easily accessible freezer full of ice cream but he warned the kids not to eat it or they would be punished. One day one of the children was playing with a magic 8 ball, they shook the ball and what came up was “do something you’re not supposed to do”. Of course the child ate the ice cream, the best icecream ever and shared it with their sibling. The father found out and kicked them out the room. He told them because you ate my ice cream you and all of your descendents will never be allowed in here again. So of course the children moved out the house.
The father realized he wanted to forgive the kids and let them back in the house with him so he came up with a brilliant plan. He got one of his estranged 14 year old virgin daughters and had her artificially inseminated with his clone. The child was born however the father was not around to raise him, he left the job to another man.
The child was very gifted, he could do wheelies with no wheels, he could throw a football 300 yards, in fact the child could skate on ice when it was still liquid. He was the best child ever.
When he grew up the father decided that in order to let the rest of his children in house this amazing son had to be harmed. So one day all the other kids started beating the crap out the good son, pulled his hair, kicked him in the face, beat him with whips. And hung him by his underpants on a fence. The father only watched. While the good son was on the fence he said “dad dad why didn’t you help me?” The father remind silent. The son then feel into a coma.
After three days the good son awoke with even more awesomeness. The father told his other children say that the good son is “all that and a bag of bbq chips” and you can come back to the mansion. If you don’t say it I’m going to put you in an abandoned house that you can’t get out and set it on fire. Im doing this because I love you. And they all lived happily ever after. Except for the kids who didn’t say the good son was all that and a bag of bbq chips. They were burned.